cultural faux pas #1

My life is awkward.

Gagggg. I think I committed a cultural faux pas tonight, and I don't know what to do about it! I feel nauseous thinking about it.

Ok- so this is what happened. I went with my mom to a baby shower- it was basically a family reunion with 30 or so family members. It went until about 11 pm, and was a combination of very fun/very overwhelming. Of course, 80 % of the time I did not really know what was going on- however, I participated as much as I could and actually had a good time. We played musical chairs, musical hats, lots of games... there was lots of screaming (in a good way) and laughing and craziness. They are very expressive in their culture and very affectionate/loud/excited about different things. Most of the time I just sat there and smiled, and when I could, participated. It was slightly overwhelming, especially towards the end, since I really can not understand much Spanish, and sometimes there would be several people at once trying to explain or tell me something. One thing that was really nice- the uncle whose house we were at came over to me and said, in English, "I would like to show you my garden." I went with him outside and he showed me all the plants and things in his garden. It really was beautiful and I expressed that as much as I could.

So, at the end of the night, it came time for us to leave and say goodbye to everyone... meaning 30 or so people. By this point I was starting to feel very exhausted (spending 4+ hours in a setting with complete strangers who speak another language can be really tiring!) I know basically none of them, but knew that I should still walk around and hug and kiss people goodbye. I am still a little bit unclear if the whole hugging and kissing thing is necessary between men and women. Between women it is totally normal, but I don't know about between women and men. A kiss on the cheek this is, but still. So I started walking around and most of the women immediately offer a hug and kiss. Some of the men offered a hug and kiss, and I did not feel too uncomfortable with it. HOWEVER, there was this one cousin or something who was probably 30 years old. Earlier during the night I caught him staring at me during dinner, and talking with his buddies at the same time. I felt somewhat uncomfortable with this, and did not want to give off any wrong impressions. So when I walked around to say goodbye, he said "Chao," but did not initiate a hug. I said "Chao" as well, smiled, and continued on my way. Immediately, he walked over to his mom or aunt, and I think... I think, told her that I didn't kiss him, and I think she said something across the room about me not kissing the cousin. She asked if I thought he was ugly! By this point it seemed to be too late to do anything... I was following my mom out the door and was not even really sure what was going on.

AHHHH. I don't know what to do. I didn't want to initiate a hug/kiss with him just in case that was inappropriate, but I think not doing it was a lot worse. I am already a very non-touch person, especially when it comes to men, but here that is different. I thought following his lead and not hugging would be ok, but apparently it wasn't.

Well. That was my night. I feel like a jerky, culturally insensitive, and a snobby American. HELP!


Love you all. :-)